And Again

A post about spasticity again.  It is the bane of my life.  I would like to ignore it, but can't.  It makes itself known as soon as I get up in the morning and doesn't release me until I lie down at night.  I try to ignore it during the day, but it will have none of that.  That makes it mad.  It's obsessed with me, and determined to make me acknowledge its existence.

Tuesday was a sunny day here and I went outside and stretched, and exercised with my 10 pound weights. Then, in the evening Polly and I swam laps at the Y.  And how did the spasticity respond to all that?  Tuesday night I could barely move.  The spasticity was so bad on my left side, my right side was affected.  I could feel it on the right side of my neck and shoulder.   Regardless, though, I had to get up early Wednesday morning and drive to Frankfort.  I had a training on some new software Wednesday morning, a meeting with an architect who is preparing some rental housing designs for us in the afternoon, then a teleconference with a D.C consultant until 6.  I stayed overnight in Frankfort Wednesday night, then attended a meeting of the state Behavioral Health Planning and Advisory Council from 10 to 3 Thursday.  Then back to KHC to take care of a few items, then a two-hour drive back home.    Today is another work day with follow-up items from the meetings of Wednesday and Thursday.  Later today, Polly and I are going swimming again, then maybe a relaxing movie night if either of us can stay awake.

My co-workers at KHC seem to have forgotten that I had a stroke and they don't hesitate to schedule me for as many meetings and expect the same amount of work as pre-stroke.  They don't realize how fighting the spasticity tires me, because I won't let them see it.   But that has been my goal all along so I won't complain.  The way I see it, I have a decision to make about the spasticity.  I can give in to it and stop exercising and focus on relaxation and maybe some light and slow stretching, or fight it and continue to work out and swim and try my best to live the same life as I did before.  My decision is the latter.  I will fight it, knowing that it may win and some day I may become immobile and may have to quit work and adopt a whole new lifestyle.  But fighting is the only option for me.  We have to be true to our nature.